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August 5, 2012 / Amberly

Does it fit you anymore?

This should really be called “Do THEY fit you anymore”

This past weekend was a doozy. I had an old friend visit, an old boyfriend to be specific. This already spells trouble right?

Well it did.

It is interesting that two people can be in such different positions when it comes to a relationship. One can be fighting to get you back and the other has been over it for over two years. I guess to give a better explanation, I broke up with this guy 2 years ago. Since I don’t really believe that you can be friends with someone right after a relationship ends I wouldn’t communicate with this person for about 3 months. From then on we would only speak every 2-3 months just to check in.

Let’s call him Jack

In the past two years I have moved on from this relationship, this isn’t someone who crosses my mind anymore nor do they affect my daily life. I will always want the best for him, but he isn’t someone I would associate with anymore.
On the other hand, it has been the opposite for him. I have been someone he believes will come back into his life, as long as he tries hard enough to “change”. Somehow I have made a profound impact on this person and they regret any actions to not keep me around in their life.
This weekend in my eyes was because he was coming out to “check out Denver” I was allowing him to stay at my place because I would want the same treatment from someone else.

Big Mistake.

His intention was that he was coming out to “win me back” and to “see if there was a future”

YIKES

I thought this may be the case and on the first night he told me he still loved me and wanted to see what future we had. My response wasn’t what he was expecting, I flat out told him I wasn’t interested in who he is, nor have I since we dated. That the boat had sailed on that one and I am sorry he was holding onto this for so long.
The next evening he was intoxicated, and started raising his voice, pointing his finger and yelling about the fact I was being cold to him and how I didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

It is in those moments you see what you used to put up with, what you used to make excuses for someone else because you “love” them. But I didn’t love him anymore and being intoxicated and being yelled at isn’t part of my present self.
I am worth more than that, I may not have believed I was in the past. This kind of interaction is not something I respect, nor do I take part in it.

I am a fellow human being talk to me like one.

So needless to say, I didn’t put up with it. I asked him to leave my house after some really dumb comments on his part and wiped my hands clean.

The point of all this is just because he was part of my past, does not mean he needs to be part of my future.

Sadly it takes a blow up incident to make that clear BUT in the future I will do a better job of recognizing this.

Who is part of your past that you let affect your present moment or your future. How are you going to let them go?

Read It. Live It. Share It.

 

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One Comment

Leave a Comment
  1. janet / Aug 7 2012 8:23 AM

    Wow, really good advice. Great to see “Truth” and than go about to help others to see that truth.

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