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July 22, 2013 / Amberly

Feeling Safe

I am going through old photographs and it is so fun to see the things that I have done… and already forgotten about. Zip lining through waterfalls in Thailand, 10H bus rides with music blaring and water dripping from the ceiling. Oooo FUN! With all these memories flooding back there is something significant I remember.

I remember the feeling of not being safe to express myself emotionally and my thoughts on life with certain people.

‘There was once this girl in a relationship, and she didn’t feel emotionally safe to express herself. Alcohol, and “playing devils advocate” got in the way of support and good times.

This boy and girl had plenty of amazing times together, but in the end the things that were most important to her won over and so this relationship had to end.

This girl would always look back and feel that she could have opened up more, but she didn’t feel safe to. Sometimes even being silly was scary, because in the situation where silliness was okay she would have to take care of this boy or be embarrassed by the things he would do in bars when there was alcohol involved. She didn’t feel safe to let go. To just fully be herself.

Even something as simple as expressing her thoughts on drinking milk would be met with a “your wrong” attitude. Just sharing something that she learned and was passionate about seemed to be a problem.’

Looking back, there are other times in my life where I would feel this way and a certain uptightness would follow. Ask my little sister how uptight I was growing up… YIKES! It is like going into “survival mode”, stifling who you are and not fully expressing yourself. Having fun and letting go is out of the question. This eventually leads to resentments and dooms any friendship, partnership or relationship that these feelings are a part of.

I have learned not to let people in my life that just want to contradict or tear me down. Being emotionally safe to me means expressing my thoughts and feeling and being validated for them. I fully believe in being open minded enough to have discussions, and present new ideas, thoughts and theories. I love to incorporate new ways of thinking into my life, but it does gets taxing when you are constantly defending yourself because someone just wants to contradict you.

I feel so grateful to now surround myself with people that validate who I am, who share new ideas and give me the freedom to fully express myself just the way I am.

Read It, Live It, Share It.

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2 Comments

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  1. Janet Grant / Jul 22 2013 4:44 PM

    Life can sure take you places you don’t want to go, but at least your able to go there and say ” no, I think there is a better place”. Have a wonderful journey and I know most of it will be fun and wonderous.

    • Amberly / Jul 22 2013 9:33 PM

      Thanks for being in this journey with me and being an amazing supporter of all that I do. It means more to me than you’ll ever know. x

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