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June 23, 2013 / Amberly

Do “I” work?

Play this while reading. :)

The other night I was having a thought, I love my life. I love the way I lead it.

One week I am in San Diego hanging out with my sisters, the next in Taos, New Mexico with a friend listening to Mumford and Sons. I like to think that in my free time I help others, inspire them even. I am also extremely happy and grateful I am who I am… But once in a while, I hesitate. I feel the overwhelming thoughts of others on how life should be lived and I believe them. I feel a burden to lead a life that is a bit more conventional.

This isn’t to say that the way I live is the best, nor to say the way they do is better. I, for just a moment become less confident in the way I live my life.

The other day, a friend of mine bought a house and it really made me think. I am 25, I haven’t finished school, gotten a real job, haven’t had a boyfriend in over 3 years.

Hmmm… Am I doing this right?

Now believe me, I have done many many things in the past 7 years, but most of those things include selling my stuff (many times) moving to different countries and making memories with some amazing people.

I mentioned that school is on the horizon. This is a big step for me, potentially staying somewhere for four years within a structured environment is something I have never done.

Here is the kicker… I have applied in Colorado, and have been accepted, which would see to it that I get a traditional four-year college experience. The only problem is, is this doesn’t appeal to me. It doesn’t appeal to me to spend four years in one location. The choice that appeals to me is going to Berlin, Germany. I have applied there. (I will know around the first week of August if I get in or not!) The process of going to school in Berlin seems to be so much more of who I am. Two years in Berlin, one abroad, another in Berlin and Wham Bam Thank You Ma’m I have my degree.

The struggle I am facing is I am torn between two lives; I am starting to feel the call of a life that is a little more stable, a life that allows me to share it with another amazing person, a life that I make business connections and friends, then stay to see the relationships develop longer than 1.5 years.

I am just not 100% there yet, and because I am not. A life lived chasing the wind and following my heart is the route I know I need to take.

So my fingers are crossed because if I can say the words “Berlin Here I Come” I know I am on my next amazing journey, one that will stay true to who I am in this moment, but also connect me to building my future.

Flight to Cairns Australia

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2 Comments

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  1. Janet Grant / Jun 25 2013 4:44 PM

    You silly girl. You are doing a GREAT job in your life. I guess if you can go to Germany and go to school than, I say…DO IT. Can you go to the College in Colorodo for a year and see how it feel?? I think it would be best to get a degree so you can always have some degree that might help out in the long run. I know that I don’t have lots of money for my older years and sometimes that scares me and if I would have gotten a degree, I could have done more business with it or worked at a company doing something I like and had a pension….but in the same breath “you make it go right and enjoy your life anyway” THE END….with lots of love

    • Amberly / Jun 25 2013 6:55 PM

      Mom,
      Thank You for the comment. I think it is going to be part of my path for the next four years to go out and do that. Getting my degree will be something that will make me so proud, and I think and hope, be a tool that will set me up for a successful life.
      If the Colorado route is the only route, then I will definitely be going to community college first, and then heading to a 4 year university.
      I truly believe life works out the exact way it is supposed to (with a little help from us and our thoughts of course)
      Whatever will be will be. My intention is that in four years, I have a university degree in my hand :)
      I can understand being scared that you won’t have the funds that you need to enjoy your older years, but I think one of the fundamental things that YOU taught me, is that the money will always come. (I find those dimes everywhere!)

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