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April 27, 2013 / Amberly

Go Ahead, Judge Me :)

To judge: Form an opinion or conclusion about.

To judge something or someone is very common. We form an opinion about someone in the first 30 seconds of meeting them, and this has been a very good useful survival technique.

It is when judgement becomes unnecessary, untrue and hurtful, is when we have a problem.

I recently have felt the sting of harsh words, that really, in the end, have nothing to do with me.

One of these remarks was made by a guy I was dating and he told me I was “too social” another, by someone close to me. She feels the way I lead my life isn’t proper. You can’t be free to do what you want, when you want. That is just not an acceptable way of living.

After hearing that I was “too social” from this guy (we clearly are not dating anymore) it made me really question whether or not I was “too social”. Is it wrong to make friends with people on the street, or in a class, or at a stop light? Do a lot of people think it is a problem… AM I am too social?

OH GOODNESS WHAT IS THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF SOCIAL?!?!

After letting that set in I realized, how crazy is it that I am letting the opinion of one person who doesn’t have my best interest at heart control what I think about myself. I am beautiful, loving and just amazing. If you don’t like me for me, then either keep it to yourself, or don’t hang around!

My close friend decided that telling me for an hour in a bathroom while she was drunk that the way I was leading my life wasn’t alright. Thankfully I had just recently gone through this before with her, and so I was prepared. Breath, Smile, Nod… try to not let this get too much under my skin. When people want to hurt you and you don’t let them, it makes them even more upset, so when she realized that I wasn’t acknowledging her, she went deep, “You aren’t an inspiration to anyone”. Ooo Ouch.

After letting that set in I realized, how crazy is it that I am letting the opinion of one person who “has my best interest at heart” control what I think about myself. I am beautiful, loving and just amazing. If you don’t like me for me, then either keep it to yourself, or don’t hang around!

This last sentence doesn’t seem to make a difference whether you are my best friend, an acquaintance or a family member. It is never appropriate to put someone down.

“What others think of you is none of your business”

Well ain’t that the truth! Remembering this in all your negative interactions, can be so liberating. It doesn’t matter what you say about me, or think about me. It is none of my business. Say it, think it… But when you are pointing a finger at me, there are three more pointing back at you. Yikes. Meaning what you don’t like in me, you have done, will do, or is present in yourself.

I realized that both these people are insecure with themselves in some way. One thought being social leads to infidelity, if he knew me well enough he would have realized that I was an extremely loyal person. In the end that wouldn’t have made a difference, because it wasn’t about me, his insecurity is his insecurity. My close friend isn’t leading the life that she wants. She is just going with what she lined up for herself instead of taking control and going after what she wants. So best way to forget about this, judge the way others are leading their life, that way she doesn’t have to think about her own. I guess it really doesn’t have to do with me, it is all about her.

As I write about this, I remember to think about all the times I have judged someone, or said things I shouldn’t have. Because as I point my finger… three are pointing back at me ;)

Read It, Live It, Share It.

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